I’d found myself procrastinating many times after I settled a goal for myself. And though every time my procrastination had a (reasonable!) reason, I felt stupid and concluded that I don’t deserve too much. It is said that procrastination is a sign showing us that we are not in alignment with our goals and that self-sabotage (which includes procrastination) is a tough reaction of our unconscious programming to attempts of changes we decide to make in our lives. I longtime struggled setting goals and then, instead of going and accomplishing them, I found myself doing things contrary to what I should have done to achieve my goals. Not being aware of the self-sabotaging pattern I was experiencing, I blamed the bad luck and even an external conspiracy against my achievement. I thought that other people and adverse forces joined efforts against me to stop me from succeeding. You probably know very well this feeling. You try to do something and put all your efforts into it and instead of getting results, simply you see yourself incapable to reach your target.
Blaming others and circumstances is the worst thing to do in this situation. Understanding what’s happening - acknowledging that we are just experiencing a behavioral pattern – can help us overcome our unconscious actions. Identifying the cause is the first step in any cure. When we realize that there’s no need to fight external forces and that everything happens inside us, all we have to do is to take responsibility for our actions and embark to change things. It is in our own power to do it. The first thing to do is to become aware of the pattern. Just watch yourself self-sabotaging your actions. Look at everything you did from this perspective and acknowledge what you did wrong. Don’t think about other people's reactions or unfavorable circumstances. Just analyze your actions and beliefs. Then try to imagine how things would have been different if your behavior were different. Now take responsibility and make another attempt to reach your goal. This time closely watch your actions and modify the pattern. Don’t repeat the mistakes you did before. Do everything as any successful person would do it, knowing that the results are only under your own control. Here’s an example. A few years ago, when I had just started my own window decoration business, I decided to build an online presence to increase awareness of my store’s brand. Without taking the time to analyze several offers, I stopped at the first web design studio and signed the contract for the website. I had a short talk with them explaining what I want to get and thought that they understood. I paid the amount they requested and when I got the final work, I was shocked. It hadn’t anything to do with my store’s image and with how I intended its online presence to be. Naturally, my reaction was to blame the designers to not understand anything and to be unprofessional. It seems like bad luck, isn’t it? But it was entirely my fault:
In fact, deep in my heart, I didn’t really believe that I can have a very good website. Now I can come up with a lot of reasons (excuses) why I arrived in this situation:
But finally, the fact is that I was entirely responsible for the bad results I got and for losing the money. It happened because I carried the belief that having a website is difficult and most websites are not what they were intended to be. And I didn’t clearly visualize how my website should look like. This is how things are happening in many other situations when we don’t get the desired results. I am sure you have a lot of examples. The fact is that we are the only ones sabotaging the achievement of our goals. Not knowing very clear what we want and not feeling that we are responsible for the result, we are victims of our own confusion.
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February 2021
AuthorWe wait too much for others to accomplish our dreams, and then we are disappointed and frustrated. I think now it is the best time to think about what we really want out of our lives and just get it. I just want to inspire, influence and teach as many people as I can to create the lives of their dreams. If you want to be one of them, I’m waiting for you with open heart. If you’re ready to turn your life around, go subscribe to my list where I keep sending more information on how you can do it in the simplest and easiest way. |